TOLERANCE (tasamuh).

Remember that husband and wife, however compatible, will always be two different people. Live and let live - do not try to force somebody else to be what they are not; it never works, and only causes resentment. Accept people for what they are and love them `warts and all'. Be tolerant, forgiving, and understanding, as far as you are able.

`O you who believe! Some of your spouses and children can be your foes, so be careful with them. Yet if you pardon and forgive them, Allah will likewise be forgiving and merciful.' (64:14)

`Seek reconciliation with those who avoid you, give to those who withhold from you, and forgive those who deal with you unjustly.' (Hadith in Khara'iti)

`I was sent only to perfect the noble qualities of character.' (Hadith in Malik, Muwatta')

`You will not be able to suffice all people with your wealth; suffice them therefore with a cheerful face and goodness of character.' (Hadith in Hakim, Mustadrak)

`Whichever man is patient with the bad character of his wife shall be given a reward like unto that which Job shall receive; and whichever woman is patient with the bad character of her husband shall be given a reward like that of Asiya the (believing) wife of Pharoah.' (Al-Ghazali)