TEMPTATION

Just because a person gets married, they are not suddenly made blind, or incapable of feeling a sudden urge for someone outside the marriage. It is vital that one deals promptly with the urge, so that the marriage partner is not hurt, the marriage is not weakened, and the possibility of major sin is averted.

A hadith tells us that the eye can commit zina. And as Imam alGhazali points out:

`the zina of the eye is one of the major faults, and soon leads on to a mortal and obscene sin, which is the zina of the flesh. The man who is unable to turn away his eyes will not be able to safeguard himself against unchastity.' (Disciplining the Soul)

In the Holy Quran (24:30-1) we read:

`Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and preserve their chastity. That is purer for them. Assuredly, Allah is Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and preserve their chastity ...

And the Prophet (s) said:

`A gaze is a poisoned arrow from Satan. Whoever abstains from it in fear of Allah shall receive from Him an increase in faith, the sweetness of which he shall feel in his heart.' (Ibn Hanbal)

The Prophet Yahya was once asked: `How does fornication begin?' and he replied: `With looking and wishing.'

No one should ever be too confident about his or her ability to control the sex drive. AI-Fayyad ibn Najih said: `When a man's penis becomes erect, two-thirds of his reason departs.' It is for this reason that khalwa - being alone with a non-mahrarn member of the opposite sex - is not permitted. Often taqwa is the only force powerful enough to save human beings from the disaster of adultery - and it is easy to overestimate the degree of one's own piety!